A Winters Tale

Right up front, I will say that I have a true love-hate relationship with Winter, yes I love to hate Winter.  But I must be honest, it is not really all that bad and over the many years of my existence, I have learned a few things to enjoy about winter and am still learning as I go along on this whole life trip. I used to enjoy downhill skiing until my Spider Sabich wannabe stage broke a few bones and I switched to cross-country skiing which I discovered was a little more relaxing and less dangerous to my body.

Over the many winters and watching my Father for many years, I learned about the great ways to shovel my driveway and today I am really going to need that plan, it involves beer that is all I have to say about that.

As a young man I thought I was tough and wearing ear muffs was goofy looking,  well at 60 I can attest that anything that keeps me warm, including earmuffs, is not at all goofy, hell they are actually kind of cool, and the more unique and interesting Winter hats I can wear, well all the better.

Longjohns, yes they are good they keep you warm but when out walking the dog they become a hazard if you suddenly feel the urge to go pee in the woods yourself, a fair warning, they can take a while to get to the main part of your anatomy.

On that same vein as long johns I have discovered that it takes me a lot longer to get dressed to go out, what used to be just slipping on my boots and throwing on my coat now requires some assembly to be ready to step out the front door.

A January thaw is not an unusual site and I have now realized that there is treasure sometimes in the melting snowbanks of parking lots around town. As the snow banks recede you can find some neat things and some bad things, I found a really cool ice scraper in one, a set of gloves in another, someone’s underwear but I didn’t keep that and really don’t want to know how it got there either, and of course tons of Tim Horton cups and fast food bags. And many years ago as a teenager, I found out you don’t write your name in the snowbank in urine in front of your mother’s church on cold Saturday nights, they seem to have a way to find out about it.

And I have learned a really neat trick from my dog, a fresh bag of dog doo will keep your hands warm for a few minutes while you slip your gloves back on after picking it up, however you have to remember to take it out of your coat pocket as well when you get home, it is not as good the next day.

So, in closing, I say enjoy winter, but come on Spring.

 

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