What I learned on the Bus

Normally I do not take the bus, but with my car in the shop the other day and having a few errands to run it left me with just a few options 1. Don’t go anywhere we can not walk to 2. Take the bus if necessary. And since I live in Hespeler and I had to Go To Galt, number 1 was not an option. So feeling like a kid going on his first school bus ride, Monday  I rode the buses around this City, and boy did I learn a lot. Here are some of the things I learned.

Did you know that $15.00 will buy you enough booze to last the evening? according to a woman sitting across from me, you just have to shop carefully at the Liquor store.

I learned that “Obama” means good in teen speak. As a few teens explained, “Last weekend was Obamasized”.

I learned that despite the signs that state not to speak to the driver, they can talk and drive at the same time..usually to another driver standing beside them.

I learned that Teens can stuff more things into their knapsack than I thought was possible. I swear one girl had her entire wardrobe in her’s.

I learned that yes, a child can scream louder if challenged to by a parent.

I learned that I truly, truly hate rap music, specially when been sung by middle-class white kids pretending to be gangsters. Oh, and especially when they have the headphones on and are sitting right behind me.

I learned that God is indeed one of us and does ride the bus. At least according to the long-haired Jesus freak that explained it all to the few of us riding the express bus Monday morning.

I learned that a pop can will roll from one end of the bus to the other and back again without being seen or heard by any of the passengers.

I learned that a Handicapped person on a scooter will run over your foot if it is in her way.( Don’t worry, nothing broken).

I learned that Micheal Jackson is still alive. At least according to the argument that I heard, something to do with his marriage to Lisa Marie Presley(see the conspiracy there?)

I learned that yelling into your cell phone is acceptable while on the bus.

I learned that the seats on the buses are too small(or my ass is too big)

I learned to go to the bathroom before getting on the bus. It sure is a bumpy ride.

I learned that teenagers have a new game. It is called who can say F!!K the most times and the loudest.

And finally I learned that Galt sucks, Hespeler Sucks and Preston Sucks. I don’t know what is left, but I guess that means Cambridge Sucks?

Alas, for now my riding the bus is over, $148.00 later my ride is ready…maybe my ass is a little big, the seat of the car does seem smaller…

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