A Political Inquiry

Politics in Canada is a year round spectacle and in Cambridge it is no different, we have 4 years till the next Municipal Election but already people are wondering who will run and who won’t and in some cases who should run. I have had a few people ask me if I would consider a run for a seat on city council and while I have no plans to actually do that, I think I would make a good politician as I have some great ideas to help this city , also I have the necessary requirements to be a politician.

I can assure you that I would not be just another corrupt politician I would in effect be a totally different type of Corrupt politician, willing to take money from any cause that would be stupid enough to think that I could get anything done in the Region of Waterloo after the bad public relations that Mayor Craig has had with them, also I would let everyone know exactly what I was getting in bribes, I would be an honestly Corrupt politician.

And what about legalizing Marijuana? That may be a federal Issue not a municipal one but with some of the decisions that have been made at City Hall you would have to assume that they are in agreement with it, so why not.

I feel that a city that looks good feels good, and I believe that under the current regime our personal well-being has been ignored for too long and to that end I would bring in a number of new by-laws that would improve Cambridge.  Spandex and pajama pants would be banned for almost all public areas, even though exceptions would be made for Dollar stores and Wal-Mart, after all we can’t allow those places to lose customers and go out of business.I would also appoint someone to a new position of Director Of Looking Cool, Mike Cahill would be a good Candidate for that position.

And how about some other by-laws to improve Cambridge,  I would make it illegal to spit on the steps of a school. That will keep the little bastards in line(the teachers I am talking about).  Cats will be  forbidden from entering cemeteries. We don’t allow Dogs, so why allow cats?

I will bring in spending cutbacks, except for the real neat rocket car idea that I have, compromise is a part of politics and I could compromise both my principles and my morality if elected, and I only lie if it is really necessary or if it will advance my agenda. But, the most obvious thing that would make me a great Candidate is the fact that I have enormous experience apologizing for failed decisions that I have made in my life and have thousands of excuses for those failed decisions,  Also, I have the Morality of  Pierre Trudeau and the Charisma of Joe Clark.  Vote for Jim 2018