Mystery of the Missing boot!

A Priest, my Mom and a Boot show up on a Sunday Morning, sounds like a bad joke doesn’t it? Well, it didn’t to me on that cold January Morning in 1974.  Here is the story as best I can remember it.

Like most 17-year-old boy’s in Hespeler back then the Saturday nights in the Winter were spent watching the Leafs on CBC and then partying until the wee hours of the morning and of course I was one of those types (can you believe that?).  Now, I had a great pair of winter boots back then, Cougars they were, with a removable felt liner that managed to keep my feet toasty as well as anything I ever felt before. And I wore those boots with pride and that is why on that Sunday Morning I was in a panic, one of my boots was missing.

I had been out terrorizing the area with a number of my chums and as was always the case I drank a few beers and had my share of some lemon Gin(ugh, that stuff was terrible), but for some strange reason that morning I woke up with a bad hangover,wet socks and a missing right boot, but the liner for the boot was in the doorway and that I could not explain to myself.  Replaying the night over and over in my head I could not visualize where I lost my boot, or how I got home without it, and that is when the crap hit the fan.

I could hear my Mother and Father coming in from Church as well as a third voice coming in the door that I could not recognize, but would soon find out. My father came downstairs to my room, told me that my Mother needed to see me and as he walked back upstairs he grinned that Cheshire grin of his and said ” It was nice to have known you”, now that is not a good way to start the day so upstairs I went and sitting at the table was my Mother, The Priest from St.Mary’s and in the middle of the table sat my missing boot.  The sweat started to form on my brow and I knew I was in big trouble and here is the reason.   As the Priest was cleaning off the steps of the church he noticed a boot sitting in a snowbank in front of the church along with a Snow Angel and worst of all, yellow stains and an empty bottle of beer, I was done, because there is one thing you don’t do is urinate,pass out and leave an empty beer bottle in front of a Little Irish Woman’s church. My punishment for all that was to help out snow shoveling the steps and the parking lot of the church for the next 4 weeks and I learned never to walk home past the Catholic Church again when I have been drinking, even today If I am on my way home From Ernie’s I go up Adam street and then over to Cooper avoiding the Church at all cost’s.  Now, there is one question you may have..how did they know it was my boot?  Well, little did I know but my Mother had written my name and address on a little piece of felt and sewed it into the boot liner, that’s right at 17 years of age I still had my Mother sewing name tags into my clothing.  And to this day my Mother still ask’s me ” Did you not notice you had no boot on”  And I wonder Did I?  And should I ask my Mom to sew some name tags into my clothing today? After all I still occasionally do stupid things when I have had a few too many.

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2 Replies to “Mystery of the Missing boot!”

  1. that is way too funny,,however you should have asked your older and wiser cousin about the dangers of beer and lemon gin…bin there,,dun that,,bought the tee-shirt,,,not pretty !!
    i can just see your father with that shit eatin’ grin..because you know he did about the same in his day !!
    but,,was smart enough not to get caught..

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