Just thought I would write down somethings that have been on my mind…ohh cookies, be right back………………………..so here goes.
Why does nobody dress up as Santa on Halloween? Seems to me that it would be the perfect time to do so.
I used up a tube of lip balm for the first time today. How I kept track of that tube for 3 years I’ll never know.
I was having Chinese Food the other night and just wondered..is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions?
If I say Vice-Versa to someone who is dyslexic is that just redundant?
A friend told me he was head over heels in love, I told him that is the way we all are built.
Why do I keep going back to my refrigerator when I know there is nothing I want in it?
I hate Winnie the Pooh..he never get’s stung by the bees he messes with.
Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have a “S” in it?
Did you hear about the woman who was married to a succession of three Microsoft employees and still died a virgin?
If I shot a man in Reno, I wouldn’t of stuck around to watch him die, that’s how Johnny Cash got caught.
When I was in my twenties, not shaving for a few days gave me a cool Don Johnson Miami Vice look. Now that I’m in my fifties, though, it tends
to make me look more like Otis from Mayberry.
If those Davy Crockett Coonskin caps ever become popular again, I will look like a fricking genius. If not, I will just be the weird guy with a garage full of carcass’s.
I don’t think it’s so much that I’m a bad driver, but rather that I need to move
somewhere that’s not so damn pro-pedestrian.
I remember growing up and having a deer head stuffed on our wall, but I was told We could not keep a deer as a pet..how come?