James Hillis

Archive for January, 2012|Monthly archive page

Give me back my Klackers

In Uncategorized on January 27, 2012 at 8:55 am

In the spring of 1968 i fell in love. Not with a girl or a dog but
with a toy. The KLACKER to be precise. What is a klacker you ask, well
let me tell you, it was a magnificent piece of weaponry, 2 acrylic
balls attached to a sturdy workman like piece of string that when
banged together could drive a parent crazy, and i had to just have one.
A light blue transparent one at that.
Some scrawny kid like me
could own one of these, jump over a 6 foot high fence and smoke the
local bully. Yeah, that was going to be me. Jack, the neighborhood
tough guy wouldn’t get the best of me anymore. That psychopathic
grin would get wiped off his face really quick and than i would dance
over his fallen body like David over Goliath, oh yeah, that 11 year old
130 lb walking jelly bowl was going down. Or so i thought. As i
gathered my nerve and as my friends waited timidly around the corner i
approached the lug and started to stare him down, he didn’t
flinch, i approached a little bit more slinging my klackers like like a
gunslinger in the old west and then it happened, he pulled a giant
slingshot out of his overalls and started to fire spitballs at me. One
by one they stung me and drove me back to cover behind the closest
garbage pail and there i waited for the cavalry to arrive but realized
that the Cavalry had run for cover as well and vanished into the school
and the safety of the Nuns leaving me alone to face Jack one on one. It
seemed like i was there for over an hour[probably just about a minute]
when i got my courage up, got the klackers swinging good and rose,ready
to face my final moments, i came flying out from behind that garbage
can and ran smack into the body of Sister Aloysius, all 6 feet and 150
lbs of her. I went down like a rock ,my klackers flying out of my hands
and landing at her feet, her evil grin even made the bully Jack cringe,
and she had me at her mercy, and Jack was standing behind her grinning
that psychopathic grin of his. I was doomed.
I wound up with a
detention and had my Klackers taken away for 3 days, a punishment that
seemed worse than death, and while i eventually got over that moment,
the tension between Jack and i never cleared up but we stayed away from
each other from then on. For me A moral victory and 3 day’s later
i got my klackers back. All was well again.
And i wonder, did
anybody ever get Jack? Did they get away or did Jack get revenge? And i
wonder where Jack went? Is he living now on a chain gang in Alabama
somewhere breaking rocks with his fists and dancing with a good ole boy
named Bubba? One can only dream.

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Hair:The Article

In Uncategorized on January 6, 2012 at 12:23 am

Hair, flow it, show it
Long as God can grow
My hair, flow it, show it

Long as God can grow
My hair, flow it, show it
Long as God can grow
My hair
Hair, we all have it,some of us keep it, and some of us don’t. It winds up growing in places we would never think of, and places we don’t want it. As a child I was threatened with the “hair on the palms” thing if I did something bad, last I checked they were okay, a little calloused maybe but no hair. Play’s have been written about and songs sung about it. Hair products in North America are a Billion Dollar business with everything from gel to Shampoo. Hairspray is often mentioned as one of the major causes of Global Warming. Brushes, Combs and curling Irons are a steady seller to this day. There are perms and weaves, the brush cut(I had one until I was 11), and Afros. Woman can spend 1-2 hours just getting their hair right when going out for a night, and brylcreem was a staple in my house when I was growing up, not for me but for my bigger brother. In High School one year I asked for a Hairdryer for my Birthday and my parents got me one with so many attachments I started calling it my Swiss Army Hairdryer.
Hair has always been an important part of our appearance, I had an Aunt that used to hate me because first thing in the Morning I would wake up with an Afro, while she struggled to get her hair even halfway close to mine. But things change with our hair, at least for guy’s it does.
The Hair on many of our heads is now being distributed to our backs, and our ears and some weird spots in between. I have gone from not seeing a Barber for 1-2 years to making sure I get mine cut at least once a month, the only thing that bugs me about that is then I paid 3-4 Dollars for a cut and now I pay $14 to get less cut and more often. I hated wearing hats as young man because it covered my gorgeous hair, now, I barely go out in the winter without my head covered, not because I am embarrassed but because my head gets colder easily.
Of course at least I have hair, most of my friends are bald, poor bastards.

Fireman vs Police

In Uncategorized on January 5, 2012 at 12:27 am

This is from around 1969[ I’m not sure of the date, but it is in that area] it was a benefit hockey game pitting the Hespeler Fireman against the Hespeler Police. The fireman won 5-3 and I remember having a great time at it. In the picture is Jack Stark,Jack Westbrook and Jim Hillis[my dad]. During the game Police chief Fred Stewart was assessed a number of penalties including 2 minutes for speeding and 2 min for leaving the scene of an accident after two members of the fireman collided and fell down. My Dad had to use a goalie stick that was 3 times bigger than a normal one to hide what chief Stewart called the sure target caused by my Dad’s awkward goalie stance,some called it bowlegged. The police were forced to use wooden pucks on penalty shots to make handling easier. I have no idea how much money was raised but everyone had a good time.

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