Damn You Flying Monkeys.

Damn Monkeys today were at it again, really, Mayor Craig, what have i done to you to make you sic your flying monkeys on me again?  I thought i was being a good boy but just like Santa you seem to have a different view of things and your legion of monkeys caused me nothing but grief, let me explain.

As I got out of the old fart sack this morning it seems that the monkeys had got  in over night and slipped one of my dogs bones right where my right foot landed and caused me to fall into the window ledge almost pulling down the blinds and causing my Wife to question whether or not i had been out drinking the night before.  And the Monkeys caused more mayhem in the Bathroom as when i went to put the toothpaste on my toothbrush the paste came flying out of the bottom of the tube where I am sure the Monkeys had deliberately cut it and it didn’t improve from there.  My car keys were not hanging where i know I left them and after finding the said keys I went out to warm up the old jalopy and forget to take off my slippers and sure as the monkeys shine I found the one bit of ice in my driveway and went down on my tush, thank god for natural padding. Things seemed to be going okay from there and I drove carefully towards work and my stop at Tim Hortons but it seemed that the monkeys had taken my wallet and put it in my other coat and left me with no money to buy a java and I had to go to work without one. but wait! The monkeys had already been there, they had managed to tamper with the water heater at work and the kitchen was flooded forcing me to mop up before I could do anything productive, and on top of that the last few bags of coffee for the machine had vanished over night and I had to wait for the delivery truck to arrive before having a coffee.  And it still wasn’t 11:00 am yet. the rest of today didn’t go well either but I think you get the point, so i advise anyone that gets on the wrong side of the mayor, watch out for the damn flying monkeys, they will get you every time. Oh well at least they didn’t fool with my compfheryr.


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