It all started from being mooned by one of my grand daughters, unintentionally mooned but still I was mooned. You see she has a problem, the same problem that I had as a kid, no fricking hips! Pant’s would always fall off, or show the world the crack of dawn, something that was not pleasant at all. When that happened to me I wound up wearing suspenders, cool little things that were both functional and fashionable. In the 70’s they became even more cool as Elton john and Godspell made them colourful and fun, but of course like everything else they died off and belts became the choice to keep your pants up. And when presented a problem like that my wife and I went to work, sure a belt might work, but for a little 6-year-old suspenders would be a stylish choice and off shopping we went, thrifty’s, Wal-Mart,Zellers,Bonnie Togs and a few more places we looked but kept running into the same answer..no, we don’t sell suspenders, we even had a few “what are suspenders?” tossed our way, and frustration was setting in, but like good Grandparents we searched a few more places but to avail, it appears that the Suspender is a lost form of clothing. People today don’t wear them unless you are a Farmer or a Mennonite, what a disappointment to find that out, that a belt is considered more of a fashion statement now than suspenders. 41 belt designs for kids but no suspenders, hundreds of designs for adults but no suspenders, what are the Hilfigers of the world thinking, Bring back the suspender, hell it would make a great election tool, suspenders with the candidate’s name or face on them. musicians could sell them to go with the t-shirts they sell, banks could give them away for opening a new credit card account, after all how many toasters do we need anyway?
And so the search has ended fruitlessly, but like Thomas the Tank Engine, I will find the suspenders ..I know I can,I know I can.