Some Things I have learned while Unemployed.


Everybody who reads my ramblings knows that I am unemployed, and while the job search continues I find that I have begun to learn many an Interesting thing or two while spending time around the homestead.

I have already discovered that turning myself into an alcoholic is way too expensive, but I gave it the old college try anyway.I now know how to fill the ice Cube tray in the freezer and how to change the toilet paper roll, those are things I could put in my resume, couldn’t I?  I have discovered the difference between the Laundry hamper and the bedroom floor, and my wife has never been happier about it, I guess hanging my pants on the floor won’t work anymore.

Having more time to sit down and have dinner with my wife has allowed me to discover that after eating that the dishes do not levitate and fly into the sink by themselves, really guy’s, it is not elves that do either.  I also discovered how to find things by looking instead of cursing and screaming, it is amazing what you have to do without your wife around. And guy’s, did you know that the back of a womans hand hurts against the back of the your head? It sure ain’t the same as a headboard, that’s for sure.

I have found out that I do not look good in High Heels, or low cut dresses and that the Fashion Police do exist as well. I now know that if I don’t shave for a few day’s instead of looking like Don Johnson from Miami Vice I look like Otis from Andy of Mayberry. I discovered that chocolate will not cause Acne(at least I hope not) and that if you put hairspray on dust bunnies and light them on fire they still leave a mess.

But perhaps the biggest thing I have learned during the last month came from one of my Grand kids. She suffers from Autism and one day while babysitting her she told me her secret ” Smile for no reason at all, it freaks adults out”

Oh, and ignore that comment about the High heels, please?

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Here Among the Cats


While sitting in a little local bar last night with a few friends listening to a real crappy karaoke version of “Smoke on the Water” we began to reminisce about the bars and bands that used to play in the region. While the bars are now gone, to be replaced by little corner pubs and assorted other things the music is still there. Today try to find a top notch rock band in their prime or an incredible top flight show band that even comes close to the area, it is hard to find.
The Matador Tavern,Leisure Lodge,Coronet,Highlands/Tudor Tavern,Waterloo Motor Inn and if you were in the Muskokas the Kee to Bala[the only one still going]. The bands that traveled through here are legendary now,some still touring and others relegated to the back pages of our minds.
Longneck quartz bottles at the Tudor, fancy show bands at the Matador, the funniest waiter I have ever encountered at the Leisure Lodge,trying to find our way home in a drunken stupor from the Coronet and crawling out of Lake Muskoka to see a live Saturday night show at the Kee.
Myles and Lenny
Zon
Prism–a unknown band called the cars opened for them
A foot in cold water
Moxy
Major Hooples Boarding House
McLean and McLean
Jack the Bear
Jason–Steve Smith introduced his “Red Green ” character in this show band
Triumph–Rik Emmett once threatened to beat me up at the Tudor
Max Webster
Rush
Fludd
April Wine
The madcats
Doucette–he may have had only one song, but what a song
Mashmakan
Copper Penny
Goddo………….These were just some of the acts that played these bars. Kind of beats a drunk woman singing a Janis Joplin tune now don’t it. Well I think I will go put on a Max Webster album and chill. Till next time, keep on rocking

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In Honour of Family Day


Here are some signs that your family is perhaps a little dysfunctional.

Breakfast nook is now a Meth lab

Your vacations are now booked through AA instead of AAA

Your mom and sister are fighting again…over the last beer

During the family Reunion the FBI cut all power to your home

Hells Angels next door call the police to complain about you

Your son tells you he doesn’t want to be your cell mate next time

You buy 4 mothers day cards, one for each of her personalities

Family Motto: Put the Gun Down

Instead of saying grace, Grandpa reads from the Penthouse Forum

No Roasted Turkey instead all you have is Wild Turkey

New government legislation to ban assault weapons specifically mentions your family.

If you recognize any of these you may be dysfunctional.

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How is your Beer Store?


Tim Hortons and the Beer Store, what do these two things have in common? Almost every town and city in Ontario has one, and this is about our Beer store.

When people ask for directions the Beer Store gets used as a measuring stick”Go down Queen street and you turn at the first street past the Beer Store” or “if you past the Beer Store you have gone too far”.  When we travel through Ontario, almost all of us can find that towns Beer store, we can’t find the grocery store but we sure as hell know where the beer store is.  We know that the Bala Store doesn’t carry Sleeman brands, while the Kenora store does. The Beer store sign stands like a beacon to the thirsty and tells travellers that they are almost at their destination, and this leads me to my point. Why in the Hell does the Hespeler beer store look like it belongs in a Louisiana swamp, if you look at it the parking lot is cracked and the building looks like it was just dropped there and forgotten about.  When you come into Hespeler,one of the first things you see is the Beer Store, and it is an eyesore, so Forget Drayton, give us a decent Beer Store, we don’t need 6 Million, use the money left over to give Preston a good one as well. I know this isn’t as high on politicians list’s but Mayor Craig, if you want my vote you will push for this, we already have a sweet ass new liquor store, now we need a new Beer store, and I know you don’t have a say in it, but can you put in a good word for us, and if you do I promise not to print anymore articles about you and your secret army of Flying monkeys. Of course you also have to do something about that summer smell while we wait in line for our beer, but that is for another day.

Below are two pictures, one is of the Hespeler beer store, the other is of a Beer Store in Galt. You tell me which one looks more appealing.  So remember, have one for me.

The Throne Room has Been Invaded


I’ve had it, my space has been invaded, let me tell you about it. You know, they say that a man’s home is his castle(don’t tell my wife that though)and in my castle i had everything where i wanted it, or at least did until the grandchildren started to get older and discovered a few things. Now when i turn on my computer the first thing that comes up is the latest Miley Cyrus news, when i go to my music, somehow Jesse McCartneys music has found it’s way onto my playlists. I go to get into the shower and i have to clear out a rubber duckie or two, and if i watch another episode of “Wizards of Waverly place” it will be too soon. I went to get my snow shovel out of the shed and had to dig thru 4 soccer balls and a ton of badminton rackets and birdies, plus untangle the net that was put away”neatly”(yeah, right.) Now my beer can’t go in the main fridge, as it has been replaced by Kool-Aid Koolers, my cheese mysteriously get’s eaten and i have rediscovered the taste for Pop Tarts. Buy some oranges for a late night snack? Nope, they are gone before i even get close to them and i swear the one granddaughter should be swinging from trees as she eats bananas like there is no tomorrow. But the final straw occurred this past weekend, for in every castle is a throne room and of course for the modern man his throne room is the bathroom. And so Saturday night i went in to do what i do and as i reached into my Newspaper basket to grab some intellectual reading material i blindly opened what i thought was a book of mine, i realized that what i had gotten a hold of was in fact one of my granddaughters Dr. Seuss books. I let out a blood curdling scream as i realized that the last Bastien of my privacy had been toppled, i now shared my bathroom reading material with an 8 year old. How would i explain this while having a beer at the Fish with my friends” Guess what guy’s? “i had a great movement and read Green Eggs and ham while i was at it”. No more maxim’s in the crapper..oh, life can be cruel.

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Passing of Time


The top picture is of a group of young ladies from Hespeler during the early 1940’s. the bottom picture is of them 60 some odd years later.  While a few of them are gone now, they all stayed friends till the end. Hespeler people are like that.

In these photo’s:

Mary McLaughlin(Hillis)

Betty Roscoe(Rabb)

Betty Garside(Brueckner)

Shirley Connor(Beatty)

Irene Kendry(Constant)

Buddy Holly killed in Air crash


February 3rd 1959

Three young rock ‘n’ roll stars have been killed in a plane crash in the United States.

Buddy Holly, 22, Jiles P Richardson – known as the Big Bopper – 28, and Ritchie Valens, 17, died in a crash shortly after take-off from Clear Lake, Iowa at 0100 local time.

The pilot of the single-engined Beechcraft Bonanza plane was also killed.

Early reports from the scene suggest the aircraft spun out of control during a light snowstorm.

Only the pilot’s body was found inside the wreckage as the performers were thrown clear on impact.

Holly hired the plane after heating problems developed on his tourbus.

All three were travelling to Moorhead, Minnesota, the next venue in their Winter Dance Party Tour

Holly had set up the gruelling schedule of concerts – covering 24 cities in three weeks – to make money after the break-up of his band, The Crickets, last year.

Recorded life

Born Charles Hardin Holley – changed to Holly after a misspelling on a contract – he had several hit records, including a number one, in the US and UK with That’ll be the Day in 1957.

A singer and guitarist, he was inspired by Elvis Presley after seeing him at an early concert in his home town of Lubbock, Texas.

With Presley serving in the Army, some critics expected Holly to take over his crown.

Richard Valenzuela was the first Mexican American to break into mainstream music, after being discovered by record producer Bob Keane, who changed his name to Ritchie Valens.

He had made three albums and achieved a number two chart position in the US with his composition Donna – about his girlfriend – in 1958.

His rock ‘n’ roll re-working of the traditional Mexican song La Bamba – on the B-side of Donna – has also received acclaim.

The Big Bopper had been a record-breaking radio DJ – with a 122-hour marathon stint – and reached number six in the American charts with his record Chantilly Lace.


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