What I learned on the Bus

This is a reprint of a previous article I wrote. I had to take the bus today to do some business,as my van was in the shop and I thought about the article. So I am putting it back up.

Normally i do not take the bus, but on Saturday the transmission on my van was acting up and as it was a long weekend my mechanic could not look at it until Tuesday. So that left my Wife and i with a few options, 1. Don’t go anywhere we can not walk to 2. Take the bus if necessary. And since i live in Hespeler and i work in Preston, number 1 was not an option. So feeling like a kid going on his first school bus ride,Tuesday and today i rode the buses around this City, and boy did I learn a lot. Here are some of the things i learned.

Did you know that $9.00 will buy you enough booze to last the evening? according to a woman sitting across from me, you just have to shop carefully at the Liquor store.

I learned that “Obama” means good in teenspeak. As a few teens explained, “This weekend was Obamasized”.

I learned that despite the signs that state not to speak to the driver, then can talk and drive at the same time..usually to another driver standing beside them.

I learned that Teens can stuff more things into their napsack than i thought was possible. I swear one girl had her entire wardrobe in her’s.

I learned that yes, a child can scream louder if challenged to by a parent.

I learned that i truly, truly hate rap music, especially when been sung by middle class white kids pretending to be gangsters. Oh, and especially when they have the headphones on and are sitting right behind me.

I learned that God is indeed one of us and does ride the bus. At least according to the long haired Jesus freak that explained it all to the few of us riding the Lang’s bus this morning.

I learned that a pop can can roll from one end of the bus to the other and back again without being seen or heard by any of the passengers.

I learned that a Handicapped person on a scooter will run over your foot if it is in her way.( Don’t worry, nothing broken).

I learned that Micheal Jackson is still alive. At least according to the argument that i heard, something to do with his marriage to Lisa Marie Presley(see the conspiracy there?)

I learned that yelling into your cell phone is acceptable while on the bus.

I learned that Homosexuals can not repair bicycles. This was one of the weirdest conversations i have ever heard and will appear on Conversations at a later date.

I learned that the seats on the buses are too small(or my ass is too big)

I learned to go to the bathroom before getting on the bus. It sure is a bumpy ride.

I learned that teenagers have a new game. It is called who can say F!!K the most times and the loudest.

I learned that Dave is an Asshole! I don’t know which dave they were talking about but they all agreed, Dave is an Asshole!

And finally i learned that Galt sucks, Hespeler Sucks and Preston Sucks. I don’t know what is left but i guess that means Cambridge Sucks?

Alas, for now my riding the bus is over, $548.00 later my ride is ready…maybe my ass is a little big, the seat of the van seems smaller…

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