James Hillis

Archive for December, 2009|Monthly archive page

New Years Hangover Remedy’s.

In Uncategorized on December 31, 2009 at 1:52 pm

Some hangover Cures for you to look at.  I don’t recommend any one particular, but W.C. Fields seems to have the right idea.   By the way, these are all real cures, so don’t blame me for the canary one.( even though it sounds like a good idea, i mean the chirping when you have a hangover? Perfect solution)

Pliny the Elder
2 owl’s eggs, raw

To be taken neat.

The Plinys, like many other top-drawer Roman families, enjoyed the pleasures of good food and drink. Fortunately, they could also pen a word or two on the subject so that we are left with a little knowledge of their tastes.

Pliny the Elder, for example, was something of a cheese buff and was particularly attracted to pecorino–and not just any old pecorino, but the one made in Tuscany. And as wine goes so well with cheese it is not surprising that every now and then he overdid it. When that happened, the Pliny family knew what to do.

Fried Canary
1 canary
1 pint cooking oil
Salt and pepper to taste

Grab the canary and with a large pair of scissors cut off its head. Make a small incision in the skin near the breast-bone; slip a finger inside, and deftly pull off the skin with all the feathers attached. Heat the oil until almost smoking, pop the bird in, undrawn, and deep-fry for two minutes. Remove from the oil, dust with salt and pepper and serve. (Some people recommend flambéing the canary with cognac immediately upon removing from the pan. This step is optional.)

W.C. Fields
A martini made of 1 part vermouth, 4 parts gin and one olive

To be taken round the clock.

F. Scott Fitzgerald

Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald, characters from F. Scott Fitzgerald‘s The Great Gatsby, drank their way through two continents, terrifying some, disgusting others and thrilling even more. The Fitzgerald cure is found in a note, which he wrote upon request of a friend that he write something especially for her. He wrote (sic):

Skot Fisgurel by Merry Mac-Caul

“I have never scene Skot Fisgurel sober but he is a grate friend of mine. He has offen toled me about his methods. He begins in the mawning with 3 (three) strong whiskeys and from then on for years and years he seldom stops. I myself am a danscer and kan skarecely write my own name.”

Kingsley Amis

Another writer cited by Outerbridge is Kingsley Amis, who wrote the following:

Upon awakening: ‘If your wife or other partner is beside you, and (of course) is willing, perform the sexual act as vigorously as you can. The exercise will do you good, and–on the assumption that you enjoy sex–you will feel toned up emotionally.

‘Warnings: (1) if you are in bed with somebody you should not be in bed with, and have in the least degree a bad conscience about this, abstain. Guilt and shame are prominent constituents of the Metaphysical Hangover, and will certainly be sharpened by indulgence on such an occasion.

‘(2) For the same generic reason, do not take the matter into your own hands if you awake by yourself.’

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Cleaning out my Brain

In Uncategorized on December 30, 2009 at 11:40 pm

Just some weird ramblings that i have hanging around

If anyone disagrees with anything i say, i am prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny it under oath.
The dot above the i in the letter i is called a tittle
If i had a nickel for every paycheck I’ve blown on booze and wild woman, i could probably spend a whole weekend doing nothing but…well, you know where this is headed.

Bugs outnumber humans 200 million to one
Canada borders on three oceans, Pacific,Atlantic and Arctic
Art is making something out of nothing and selling it….Frank Zappa

Whenever i feel blue, i just start breathing again
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
If we are not supposed to eat animals how come they are made out of meat.

Why must all good things end while mediocre things last forever
I am so happy today,i found my friends, they are in my head…Kurt Cobain
The word Gullible is not in the English dictionary

In a family of psychotics, it is a relief to be the insomniac
The all time most nominated Grammy artist is Quincy Jones with 77
Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot

What doesn’t kill me doesn’t make me stronger, it just pisses me off more.
While staring at my goldfish and making fun of him stuck in a little bowl, i imagined him making fun of me in this weird world, so i flushed him down the toilet, that will teach him.
The Oreo is the worlds best selling cookie.

And in closing, remember there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, of course sometimes it is attached to a Freight train.

Happy New Year everyone

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How Come?

In Uncategorized on December 29, 2009 at 9:09 pm

The holidays are over and it is time to back to real life, but first, over the Christmas season my Grand-Children asked me some really weird questions. So here are a few of them that i can remember.

Why is the cashew the only nut you can not buy in the shell?
How come our fingers are different sizes and shapes?
Why does the moon seem to follow us when you drive?
Why does ice cream give you brain freeze?
Why does ice cream melt?
Why do songs get stuck in your head?
How come birds can sit on electrical wires?
Where do bugs go in the winter?
Why are bubbles round?
How come the sky is blue?
Why do leaves change color in the fall?

and finally…why is smoke coming out of your ears grandpa?

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Shorty, Nipper and Scoop(Best of 2009)

In Uncategorized on December 29, 2009 at 12:15 am

The nickname, we have all had one at some time in our lives and every town and city between the Atlantic and the Pacific has some very colorful and interesting ones. Sometimes there are story’s behind the nickname, sometimes a last name get’s twisted and becomes a nickname. I mean in my family almost all of us as far back as i can find were called Bucky, my Grandfather, my dad and his brother my brother and myself, my Hillis cousins, we were all called Bucky at one time or another, As a matter of fact my Cousin Doug has called his dog bucky. When i was younger i got nicknamed Ribsey, don’t ask why. Here in Hespeler we have a long history of nicknames, some great and some kinda strange. Here are a few of the nicknames from the past.
Clint Amacher…Yummy
Lawrence Arsenault…Weenie..i would like to know the history on that one.
George Baird…Goo
Lorne Baker…Peggy..wonder how that one happened
Jim Bell…Ding Dong…i think that one is funny
Richard Duff…Dick… a Leaf fan?
Dan Donahue..Motor Mouth
Phil Dugmore..Dink…having worked for him i won’t comment
Cameron Einwechter…Einie
Ralph Ireland..Pooper…yea, that is one i wouldn’t want
Ethel McLaughlin…Flash…this was my Mom’s sister and Ethel got the name for being a speed walker
Burt Pierce…Stiff…the girls really liked him
Reg Prior…Tin pipe
Robt. Prior…Horse…refer to Burt Pierce
Clarence Stahlbaum…Tiny…he was my Dad’s best friend, and Tiny he was not.
Fred Stewart..Flashlight…He was Chief of Police, and that flashlight shone in my direction a few times
Stan Stoddart…Slip
Ross Westwood..Borris
Eldon Wilkinson…Waxy
Carl Zvaniga…Skin
Some other nicknames over the years that were hung on people included..pugsly,Woody,Pecky,Minh,Heinie,Auld Tam,Red,Jiggs,porkchop and Gravy. But by far my favorite nickname when i was growing up was the one that Wes Beaver had, he was called “Mayor of Beaverdale”.
So what was your nickname?  And i know in Galt and Preston there has to be thousands, so what were they?  It is always fun to find out.

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From my Family to Your’s

In Uncategorized on December 25, 2009 at 12:47 pm

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone

In Uncategorized on December 24, 2009 at 4:34 pm

Some Music for a slow winter’s day

In Uncategorized on December 20, 2009 at 2:32 am

Once the Christmas shopping is done and you feel like listening to something other than Christmas music, i suggest some of these albums may be the tonic. Call it my Anti-Christmas list if you wish!(I do have a Christmas List, but that can wait till tomorrow)

1.Love-Forever Changes[1967] Still the best album from the early psychedelic period.

2.Eric Andersen-Ghosts upon the Road[1988] A album of lost lives and loves from one of the best Singer/Songwriters of my Generation.

3.Loretta Lynn-Van Lear Rose[2004] What a comeback! The perfect blend of country,folk and Rock ably assisted by Jack White

4.Nick Drake-Five Leaves Left[1969] Haunting vocals and sparse instrumentation make this a classic.

5.Richard and Linda Thompson-Shoot Out the Lights[1982] Listen to a marriage fall apart, both artistically and personally.

6.Lenny Gallant-The open Window[1994] East coast singer’/songwriter at his Canadian best.

7.Todd Snider-Songs for the Daily Planet[1994] The Who’s My Generation has never sounded so good as on this album.

8.David Ackles-American Gothic[1972] Fighting for the American Dream[and not finding it] “The Montana Song” is a classic.

9.John Stewart-California Bloodlines[1969] The former member of The Kingston Trio makes the perfect country album for the new decade.

10.Laura Nyro-Eli and the 13th Confession[1968] Others may have had bigger hit’s with her songs, but the original is always better.

11.John Gorka-Out of the Valley[1994] Alternative Country’s leader, “Good Noise” is the best anti Republican song I have heard.

12.Gram Parsons-Return of the Grievous Angel[1974] The grandfather of Country Rock’s Finest Moment. Ass kicking country and tender love songs. True American Cosmic Music.

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Hespeler Rednecks?

In Uncategorized on December 13, 2009 at 1:19 pm

Proof that Rednecks can be found everywhere.
My Brother,myself and my two sisters. From 1965. Wonder what the rest of Cooper Street thought?

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The Throne Room has been invaded

In Uncategorized on December 9, 2009 at 7:22 pm

I’ve had it, my space has been invaded, let me tell you about it. You know, they say that a man’s home is his castle(don’t tell my wife that though)and in my castle i had everything where i wanted it, or at least did until the grandchildren started to get older and discovered a few things. Now when i turn on my computer the first thing that comes up is the latest Miley Cyrus news, when i go to my music, somehow Jesse McCartneys music has found it’s way onto my playlists. I go to get into the shower and i have to clear out a rubber duckie or two, and if i watch another episode of “Wizards of Waverly place” it will be too soon. I went to get my snow shovel out of the shed and had to dig thru 4 soccer balls and a ton of badminton rackets and birdies, plus untangle the net that was put away”neatly”(yeah, right.) Now my beer can’t go in the main fridge, as it has been replaced by Kool-Aid Koolers, my cheese mysteriously get’s eaten and i have rediscovered the taste for Pop Tarts. Buy some oranges for a late night snack? Nope, they are gone before i even get close to them and i swear the one granddaughter should be swinging from trees as she eats bananas like there is no tomorrow. But the final straw occurred this past weekend, for in every castle is a throne room and of course for the modern man his throne room is the bathroom. And so Saturday night i went in to do what i do and as i reached into my Newspaper basket to grab some intellectual reading material i blindly opened what i thought was a book of mine i realized that what i had gotten a hold of was in fact one of my granddaughters Dr. Seuss books. I let out a blood curdling scream as i realized that the last Bastien of my privacy had been toppled, i now shared my bathroom reading material with an 8 year old. How would i explain this while having a beer at the Fish with my friends” Guess what guy’s? i had a great movement and read Green Eggs and ham while i was at it. No more maxim’s in the crapper..oh, life can be cruel.

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Letter from the War

In Uncategorized on December 8, 2009 at 1:03 am

August 17 1941The Editor:

I received a copy of D.W. and W bugle last night when i came on duty and was really pleased to read all the local news. I’m writing this on duty so if it seems rather disjointed it is because i had to get up to quiet a wild bunch of Irishman we have here one with a fractured skull and when i say wild Irishman i mean exactly that.
The first thing that caught my eye were the pictures. They really looked interesting but you know i worked at all those jobs and somehow or other they never looked the same to me. Still I would not mind taking a whirl at it again. Maybe i will after this issue is over.
How is Red Wilfong, is he still in the dye house and Bill Clark,Shorty Reid and all the old gang. Is Jimmy Tordoff still on the tubs or has he decided to quit wahing Khaki and start wearing it. By the look of the paper the mill must be getting a preety good going over. Is Red Watson and his trusty .38 still guarding the back of the dyehouse. Oh yes one more thing i probably should know myself. Who is the patriotic society i have received two parcels from them and did not know whom i should send a letter of thanks. whoever they are must be getting the idea that i’m not grateful.
Next time you go through the dyehouse will you remind Jim Cutting that he still owes me that letter he promised a year ago. Since coming over here i have run across most of the boys in the 1st division. Just out of curiosity who is June Whorly, I have never heard of her myself but she seems to be creating a sensation among the boys of this unit.
I’ve been here eight months now and i think we have had rain 5 or 6 days a wek every week. It never rains in Scotland I’ve been there twice and it rained both times. Next time i’m going to Ireland.Most letters that i have read that fellows have written to the reporter have been very elaborate in describing the beauty of the country,the hospitality of the people. I will admit that the people as a whole are hospitable.Only it is pretty hard to convince some of them that the people of Canada don’t ride down main trails waving tomahawks.
Due to scarcity of films and the fact that the sun never shines people over here don’t take many pictures. but this one was taken in the surgical ward. Never mind i cant find it,here is another one instead. tell John From if he is still in the dyehouse that he might as well stay where he is, they have no schnapps here and the beer is terrible.
Well i guess that’s just about winds up the news, although it seems that i all i have done is ask questions, so I’ll say, as they say in Scotland

Ken Mclaughlin
Canadian Army Overseas.

Uncle Ken lived a full life and passed away on February 12th 2007.

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Twelve Rejected Christmas Toy’s

In Uncategorized on December 8, 2009 at 12:58 am

12 toys that were rejected for this Christmas season













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