It’s a Conspiracy I tell ya, a Fricken Conspiracy

It all started this morning as i went into my local Timmie’s on Holiday inn drive, i grabbed my double double and was heading for the door when our local Councilman Rick called me over to his table to say hi. He mentioned that he had read my column on the way’s that our Mayor is Satan, and had shown it to the mayor himself, and that is when i started to worry. I mean, what if the Mayor didn’t like the little jokes at his expense, maybe he did really like his ties, would he sick his flying Monkeys on me? Would my Soul wind up in his briefcase? And worse, would he force me to listen to a Britney Spears album? I walked to my vehicle and immediately tripped and banged my head on the door, just a coincidence i said and started up Holiday Inn Drive towards Franklin Drive when suddenly a police car appeared behind me with his lights flashing. The Police officer pointed out that i had a taillight not working, when was the last time you got pulled over for a taillight not working?  I started again but this time the problem was at Holiday inn drive and Franklin, there was construction that had the 401 overpass shut down and the traffic was backing up..curse you Mayor i thought as i waited for the policeman to finally wave our part of the traffic through, but the conspiracy continued as when i got to the intersection i had to stop as the officer allowed the traffic in the other direction to go. Now when we started again i had to go straight on Jameson as there was no turn onto Franklin, and as the heavy traffic continued we got closer to Townline when the next part of the conspiracy happened,  a truck pulled out of the mall and immediately stalled stopping traffic and keeping me stuck even longer. I finally got out of Hespeler, it had only taken me 20 minutes and headed down townline to the roundabout when more problems occurred. A woman got confused in the roundabout and actually came to a stop trying to fiqure out what to do, again causing traffic to slow down. I finally got through and everything seemed to be okay, but i was wrong. I suddenly released that i had forgotten my wallet at the Timmies and had to turn around and go back to get it.
 That was enough for me i got my wallet and decided to give up on the day and head home, well guess what? I went back to my vehicle and noticed that the drivers side tire was almost flat! Damn you Mayor Craig! And damn your legion of Flying Monkeys!

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